So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
