im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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