Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
