come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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