it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
