Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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