I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
