I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
