I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
