Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
