I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I cut my penus on the lid.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
