I'm gonna have a badass scar
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
She is in my trunk
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
