I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize