sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
