Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
there was a trapeze. enough said
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
