did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
