Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
