she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
