Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize