Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
