I wannas sexs uuuuu
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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