This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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