I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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