my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
