Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
