i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
