I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
