you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
i need some magic done to my vagina
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
