Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
