Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
