I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
