but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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