Dual....:-)
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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