Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
