how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
