I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
