This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i would punch a child for taco bell
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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