Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Can Purell be used as lube?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
