No stitches, just platelets and will power
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
