Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Randomize
