I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Enjoy the penises
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize