The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
