You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize