You work out of a Hotel?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
