Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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