I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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