Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
