Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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