I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
