im about as happy as oj after his trial
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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