Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
So much rum. So many feels.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
