Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
