ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
