I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
