You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize