that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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