Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
