Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
