I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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