I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
