you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
