Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
