come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
