Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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