I'm lost and stupid without you.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
