When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
