is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
