I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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