Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
