I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Randomize
