God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
