love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
