The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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