My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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