it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Randomize
