Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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