I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize