Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Randomize
