Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
