Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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