I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
