Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
