What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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