So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Enjoy the penises
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
