You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
