you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
