they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize