It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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