Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
